Tipping - Not a City in China

Let's face it, waiters work for tips.

In my home state, the legislature, in it's infinite wisdom, deferred wages for tipped workers to the Department of Labor and left it at $2.13 (California's is $8).  To put it in perspective, that was the federal minimum wage in 1975.  At my current job, I've seen exactly one paycheck in six months.  Even then it was zero check.

So tip your waiter.  Tip them extravagantly.  And pay no attention to these people.

First off, you aren't just giving your waiter money.  All those other employees you see in the dining room need to get paid too.  The restaurant is allowed to pay them as tipped employees as long as they regularly receive $30 in tips a month.  To this end, a restaurant will make the waiters pay into a "tip-pool," either as a percentage of sales or tips, that gets distributed to the support staff.

Let's do some quick math.  My management has set the tipout at 4% of sales.  If you ring up a $100 check and leave me a $15 tip, I have to turn around and give $4 of that back to the tip pool and make $11 for myself.  So if you're a 15-percenter, you become a Canadian.  And if you're a Canadian, you become an asshole.  And if you're an asshole, I actually lose money on your table.,

While I'm on it, let's just throw that 15% business out the window.  I used to say that would be okay for the service you get at Denny's, but you'd have to be a prick to make change to tip on your $3.99 Breakfast Slam.  Yeah, I know the economy is in the crapper, but if you have enough money to go out to eat, you have enough money to tip well.

And enough with the verbal tip.  Nothing pisses us off more than you falling all over yourself, telling us what a wonderful job we did (usually accompanied by The Handshake) then finding out you failed math in grade school,.  How in the hell did you come up with 13%?  As much as I hate cliches, put your money where your mouth is.

All this being said, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH BAD SERVICE.  Leaving a bad waiter a bad tip just propagates the problem.  If you're getting bad service, find a manager.  Don't ask your waiter for them (that will give them the chance to state their case first).  Actively seek them out.  There are plenty of people out there looking for work and who would love to serve you.  Don't think for a moment that a bad waiter will see that five percent tip and will instantly snap-to.  It is cheaper to train a new waiter than to lose a customer.